My emotions have been on a wild roller coaster for the last few months. It probably doesn't help that I am also due for a mid-life crisis right about now. However, I keep coming back to a Biblical story that has been bringing me solace and perspective--that of Hannah and Samuel.
Hannah was a woman who desperately wanted a child. Her recorded story begins in the temple. She had come to pour out her heart in prayer. In her grief, she was praying so fervently and acting so erratically that the head priest, Eli, thought she was drunk. He came over to remonstrate her, and she explained that she was just incredibly sorrowful and praying for a son. She told Eli that if the Lord gave her the desire of her heart, that she would give her child to be a priest in the temple. She went home, and the Lord blessed her with a son. After she weaned him (and I hope for her sake that extended breastfeeding was the norm back then :) ), she kept her word and gave her son, Samuel, to the care of Eli. Samuel grew up to became a priest and a prophet.
I've always found this story to be both inspirational and terribly sad. Hannah's faith is tremendous. It is amazing to me that her desire to be a mother was so strong that she was willing to only have Samuel for a short while, and then give him to God at great sacrifice to herself. I can only imagine how that must have felt to walk away from the temple, leaving your precious son behind to be raised by others, hoping that everything would be okay.
For me, letting my son go on a mission has felt something like Hannah giving Samuel to Eli to be in God's service. Obviously, there are some major differences. I have been blessed to raise my son for 18 years. He will come back to me in two years. This story gives me the perspective that I, in fact, am a wimp. I don't even begin to approach the faith and self-sacrifice of a Hannah.
On the other hand, I do feel like I relate to what she experienced. I am giving my son to the care of others so that he can serve the God that he loves, hoping that everything will be okay. It's impossible not to be a little sad, and impossible not to worry a little. However, I do believe that what he is doing is a good thing, and that he is going to be all right. As his letters have come trickling in, I am excited to hear of his adventures--the people he is meeting, the things he is learning and the heart-level experiences that he is having. So despite the sting of loss and good-bye, there are good things in store for our family, and for Brendan.
Stay tuned.
I've always found this story to be both inspirational and terribly sad. Hannah's faith is tremendous. It is amazing to me that her desire to be a mother was so strong that she was willing to only have Samuel for a short while, and then give him to God at great sacrifice to herself. I can only imagine how that must have felt to walk away from the temple, leaving your precious son behind to be raised by others, hoping that everything would be okay.
For me, letting my son go on a mission has felt something like Hannah giving Samuel to Eli to be in God's service. Obviously, there are some major differences. I have been blessed to raise my son for 18 years. He will come back to me in two years. This story gives me the perspective that I, in fact, am a wimp. I don't even begin to approach the faith and self-sacrifice of a Hannah.
On the other hand, I do feel like I relate to what she experienced. I am giving my son to the care of others so that he can serve the God that he loves, hoping that everything will be okay. It's impossible not to be a little sad, and impossible not to worry a little. However, I do believe that what he is doing is a good thing, and that he is going to be all right. As his letters have come trickling in, I am excited to hear of his adventures--the people he is meeting, the things he is learning and the heart-level experiences that he is having. So despite the sting of loss and good-bye, there are good things in store for our family, and for Brendan.
Stay tuned.
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